I read a book several years ago dealing with “cultural ignorance” that wound up making me afraid that as I get older I would be losing touch with cultural norms within my own society. I didn’t realize at the time that I might look upon that as a good thing. But as a result of a fear of being left behind, there are moments when I just go ahead and jump in after two or three seasons of a television show and watch it to find out what the discussion is all about. OK, not every tv show. I still really can’t see myself spending much time with Big Brother or that other, Lord of the Flies one, the name of which escapes me and is not worth pursuing.
However, when I read about a Duck Dynasty themed wedding, I broke down. I had to understand this thing. I watched it, and I do understand this thing. I know way too many people who have owned Duck Commander calls for far too many years, and for whom a “seasonal wardrobe” is an assortment of camo colors.
Listen, when I first moved to the Eastern Shore, I went to a public library showing of children’s art. You know the kind – essay written in crayon under an illustration, also in crayon? The theme was “The Four Seasons.” I wandered from one charming, but standard, Princess Summerfallwinterspring drawing to another until I came to the one that really placed me where I had chosen to live. I wish I’d stolen it right off the wall. I would not have been proud of that, but I would have loved to have had the essay titled: Name the Four Seasons. It read, and I quote: “1. Duck Season 2. Fishing Season 3. Deer Season 4. Crab Season”